I am inclined to receive this

Hi all. It's been a few days. I apologize. For a little while there I wasn't able to get on my computer and for a little while I was too busy and for a little while I was sick. . .

On Saturday of last I woke up extremely late. Friday night was my transition from my first host family to the next, a student at Regent's College. Though I was sleeping on the wooden floor of a friend's dorm room, I slept well into the, ehem, afternoon. I was tired, to say the least.

When I finally left the campus for the day, I didn't get too far. I found myself the most-likely-arabic restaurant (Marco Polos, A Taste of Mediterranean Cuisine) and went in, ordered an english breakfast (NOTE: don't order english breakfast from and restaurant that specializes in pita, hummus, and falafel... it probably won't be very english, or very good.) I found out they were arabs and I said something arabic and from that moment we knew we'd be friends. Though, because I am bit better at Spanish than Arabic and the one man is better at Spanish than English, we mostly spoke in Spanish... for hours. We walked together to retrieve a letter I'd written to Teddy (my beau) in another part of town and enjoyed each other's company. At one point it took a good 5 minutes for me to ask "Have you ever eaten in the Eagle and Child Pub?" It's a pub in Oxford where C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkein used to met. Trouble is, I didn't even know the word for author in Spanish. Good thing we are both patient people.

That night I enjoyed the pleasant company of my hosts friends at Regent's College. We shared music and plenty of laughs.

Sunday morning I went early to Marco Polos and got free toast and hot morning drinks for me and a friend. "There is no money between friends," said Abu Naser when I pulled out my wallet. I love that so much.

I then quickly made my way out to Virginia Water, a place just outside of London, to spend the day with the people who hosted me my last time through London. The father is the vicar of a parish there. The family is just wonderful. They made me feel so at home; after the service I read C.S. Lewis' "A Pilgrim's Regress," drank tea, ate lunch with the family, and fell asleep curled up on the couch. Katie, the daughter I made fast friends with the last time I was there, and I watched Friends and attended the evening youth service together.

Truly God is good. That day was immensely encouraging. Here's an excerpt from my journal:

"I almost unabashedly accept the way my heart feels, beating a small rhythm and pushing life through my chest... And my beating heart, if I think about its presence, I am nearly confident of hope and a little sad of things left behind, across the large sea. Yet I am inclined to receive this. To know this. I perceive hope and excitement and still a persistant hesitation in my heart."

But God has been speaking to me about knowing Him as my first love. Truly as my first love. To read His word as a letter, a connection, with the most dear love of my life. To pray as if speaking and listening to the one I most want to hear from. To love others as a way to show Him love. Oh! May this be true in my heart.