We must have played Guess Who 15 times

God truly has provided all I need and filled this day with joy.

My first host and her family were wonderful... I stayed two days in a beautiful home in one of the nicest areas of London. Edwardian architecture, I was told.

I ate dinner with them the first night, leftovers the next (I came home too late for dinner) and sushi tonight. Toast for breakfast each day.

Her daughter, a treasure chest of curiosity and kindness, adored me for some reason. We must have played Guess Who 15 times and she asked again and again if I'd come back to see them in January.

Amy, my host, spent hours looking up hostels for me (just in case this second living situation didn't work out) only to find that they were literally all booked. She printed my plane ticket, asked me about my life, told me all about the best things to see in London, and drove me to and from Regent's College to drop me off at Hannah's for the second leg of my journey. Twice.

Today I saw the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace...

went to St. Martin-In-The-Field's church for a free concert, some time in the chapel, and great lunch...

and just delighted in the tourists delighting in being together at Trafalgar square.

I am now staying with Hannah, a friend of a friend, at Regent's College. We just spent the last 1 1/2 talking in her hallway... So good. Tomorrow is The Mayor's Thame's Festival. (http://www.thamesfestival.org/) I'm pumped... and it's all free. Though it may rain.

Cheers,

from London

Later we talked about love.

(photo-Statue of Eros. The most photographed place in London)

I slept! Like the dead, I slept. Very happy dead.

This morning when I woke up I, for a quick moment, forgot about my travels entirely. "Rebecca?" someone called. And then I realized that my host in London was knocking on my door. "If you get up early it will make jetlag less difficult."

Functioning with so much more cogency than the night before, I gathered myself and my things for the day, ate breakfast and wandered off! I decided to first walk Regent's Park, a garden of the Queen herself! A boating lake surrounds much of the garden. The small body of water, lined by willow trees (sometimes weeping, especially when it rains), is play ground to hundreds of geese, ducks, swans, and herons.

I walked into the park and chose a section that looked less tame. It was woodsy and a waterfall sounded through it. I stepped of the traditional path and walked through a bit of mud to sit by the rushing water. I sat there thinking, and then praying and then reading in Genesis, Luke, and Psalms... and of course praying again. God met me there in that park, by those falls. I prayed psalm 23 for the first time with genuine feeling.

You see, this has been very difficult for me, for some reason. I've struggled with feeling quite sad and lonely (especially looking forward to 5 months) and less excited than I wanted to be.

But then! What a wonderful thing God did. He led me, like a good shepherd. I walked over bridges and by ponds and right into a rose garden. I've never seen so many roses! Pink and orange and white... Yellow roses called "Poetry in Motion" and red roses called "England's Best."

As I entered the next section of roses, (a circle of them, in fact) I saw a woman settled on a bench. I don't say sitting, because she was, in fact, making her home there. She had on her trolley 3 suitcases nearly the size of mine, two bags, and an umbrella. Two yellow shirts dried, draped across the back of the bench. It rained yesterday. I stopped to mention the beauty of the day and we got to talking about the garden. "Yes. You see the roses. Everyday they change, becoming different. Losing or growing," she said with an accent. Our small friendship began as I tarried there, chatting. She invited me to sit and for the next hour we proceeded to talk.

Through the awkwardness and in the joy we learned about each other's lives. She came from Romania to be an Opair but, to her horror, the situation turned out to be some kind of scheme and she's been homeless for 2 years now! She showed me her books, including the New Testament and Psalms book someone gave her. Later we talked about love.

She told me she appreciated that I wanted to sit and talk with her. "Most people, they see you with this," she said, pointing to her belongings in transit, "and they want nothing with you. They are not concerned whether you live or die."

Talking with her made me feel so alive! So real and human! I loved it. Before I left she offered me biscuits (cookies) and we hugged. Oh, and a squirrel got real friendly with us...

It Rained... but these people are exceptionally kind.

Arriving in London...

Only an hour after the plane landed, I couldn't help but think, "I've arrived in London and I've absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I can't find my bag. My phone won't work at all. My laptop can't be recharged. I don't know how many pence are in a pound. It's raining... I did get through customs, though!"

When I asked an airport employee whether I could find free wi-fi somewhere, his sympathetic reply was, "There's nothing free here, love. Welcome to the UK!"

Eventually, I made my way across the city on the Underground (the Tube, as it is playfully yet practically referred to here). I got to take the Jubilee Line. Isn't that a great name? I got off at St. John's Wood station. Also a great name. Then I finally laid claim to a table outside Beatles Coffee Shop where I ardently people watched, wrote, and shook my head side to side to keep from falling asleep. I was almost entire successful in avoiding slumber, though I may not have avoided looking slightly insane.

I'm currently staying in a former teacher's sister's home. What generosity on her part. Dinner, rest, a shower, advice for touring London.

I look forward to exploring tomorrow... without my huge 50 lb bag.

I really like the Brits. There's a kindess I've noticed in people here that I've not seen before.

Oh. And I found a painting here in a consignment store that is amazing. Bought it. I need something to put up in my new place!

CHEERS!

Floating...

All day long I’ve been floating in peace. I feel it around me and in me.

I fell asleep at about 1:30 last night (after packing all evening) and woke at 5 today. Running on fewer than 6 hours the night and day before, I’ve been pretty docile for a small lack of energy, but also because I don’t have a sense of urgency or anxiety. I’m pleased to say that, though just found out I may not board the next flight to London and I do not know when the next flight out is, I am still okay.

On sunday my friend, Rachel, asked me, “what are you worried about?” and immediately my mind began spinning about all the things, like wild animals released around me, I could worry about. However, after taking just one moment to review these creatures, I realized that nothing was worry-able: God is bigger and more able than any other power that might come against me or these plans.

I can breathe!

Tonight I write in order to begin some kind of explanation of how God moving in and through the world in and around me. I only hope to, if even in some small or inadequate way, make sure that everyone knows that my life, as I remain in the love of Jesus, is known and shaped by God alone.

This morning I woke up in Bowling Green, Ohio. My small weekend journey to my university in Chicago is actually the beginning of my transition to the University of Ulster in Northern Ireland.

At 11:30 we left for Chicago (only missing our intended departure time by 1 1/2 hours). As we drove through Ohio, Indiana and Illinois, I absorbed the greens and the yellows of the countryside. The way the sunlight enlivens the rows of trees between fields of soybeans or planes of corn. With the windows down and the chilly September air rushing around our faces, Emily, Teddy, and I danced and sang and laughed and smiled. Such life in this air.

We arrived in Chicago and eventually made our way to Katie's apartment. No friend has ever thrown me a party, but Katie did just this today. She hosted some of my dearest North Park friends with small glasses of wine, a “Goodbye Becca” sign, a clean house lit with tea light candles, and merriment in her soul.

The community of people who came to this gathering tonight loved me. They believe God is in me, they wish me well, they prayed over me. There’s not a way I can properly write how wonderful affirmation--good, solid affirmation--is. This affirmation is not the puff-up affirmation, but a genuine, encouraging, life-giving affirmation

For the last few months I have experienced an uncharacteristically high level of anxiety and fear about my journey to Norther Ireland. I have hardly been able to think of a single good thing that will come of this journey there. But tonight! Tonight Ramon prayed, "take away the fear, God. All of it."

As people prayed, God reminded me of another perspective of experiencing life, a perspective free of suffocating fear. My friends prayed about peace and about God's presence and about His work and His goodness. They prayed about how He has called me and equipped me.

Praying out loud is especially wonderful because the moment the prayer is prayed, as long as I'm listening, God begins to shift and change me, bringing His breath of life into me. This pivotal part of the evening changed something in me. I can breathe!

JUST ONE MONTH

Jerusalem gave me a profound moment the second time I came to the city just outside its Damascus Gate. The gate, if you remember, where the taxi driver dropped me off and I was disoriented and scared...

July 31, 2008:

"Chris Awwad and I sat down outside the Damascus Gate in Jerusalem. Just one month ago I sat in this very place. This very bench. Then I was travel-worn and nervous. I looked like an Israeli youth and I couldn't understand a single Arabic word. Everything felt chaotic and intimidating. The people threatening. My body tired and my heart afraid. It's incredible the difference once month can make.

"Now, as we relax in the shade, I am not rested after our several hour bus ride into Israel but, Praise God, I have sufficient energy. I'm wearing jeans, a white T-shirt and a Kofiyya tied around my waist (the black and white checkered scarf associated with Palestine). The Palestinians around me talk excitedly together or sit pensively. One man rests his head on another's lap, chatting away. A child spins in a wheel-y chair. A few people eat falaafel sandwiches. The small breeze keeps us cool.

"I hear a boy shout: '5 shekels! 5 shekels!!' Another man greets his friend, 'Hello! How are you?' I can understand."

I often reflect on this experience. What a dramatic shift. During the month I spent in the West Bank I made friends. Palestinian friends... and that changed everything.

IT WILL BE

Nearly two years ago I went to Taybeh. On that trip I wrote over 100 pages in my journal. My handwriting is not large.

Since then I've written plenty, none of it exists in the public domain. Out of both discipline and desire I intend to write again.

What will become of this blog? Hopefully, it will be a cathartic use of the art of written expression. A place for confusion, expression, and hope as my life relates to a desire for transformation of conflict. I may write poems or short stories, commentaries or reflections. It may be academic it may be emotional. Whatever it is, it will be.